The voices in my head don't think they're imaginary

It's not when you've made your first pro sale, or gotten an agent, or sold your first novel or even your fortieth novel. It's not when you have been asked to be the guest of honor at some prestigious con, or have been offered a reading slot at KGB, or have been interviewed by Hour of the Wolf. It's not when one of the podcasts asks you to be a reader, or you get your first royalty check, or you qualify for membership in SFWA.

No.

It is when you type "The End" on a story that you think is pretty brilliant, and you close the file, and somehow, against all odds, against all instincts, you manage to resist the urge to send it to ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE YOU CAN THINK OF, EVERY EDITOR, EVERY WRITER FRIEND, EVERYONE, RIGHT THAT VERY SECOND in favor of letting the story simmer so you can come back to it in a week or two and make it better. Because no matter how brilliant it seems right at this moment, you know you can make it better.

THAT, my friends, is success.

Today, I am a successful writer.

I've always wished I could be one of those people who plugged away diligently at 1,000 words a day, or 2,000 words a day, but I'm simply not. I'm a binge writer. That's just how I roll.

Thus, when I have the characters, when I know the conflict and where the plot is going, I can easily write 10,000 words a day -- as I have over the past 2 days, on a brand new novel that has knocked me down, dragged me down a dark alley, and demanded all the spare change out of my pockets.

This looks to be the greatest piece of fiction ever committed, just to warn you all in advance. I'm writing it in first person present, which is probably why it's going so quickly. First person present is pretty darn easy to draft. Except when it comes to sex scenes. Sex scenes in first person present are just ... silly.

But I generally write silly shit anyway, so that'll all work out fine, I'm sure.

See you all on the flipside.

P.S. Shout out to my NYC peeps that I'll shall be in the City the week of April 14-18 and will be at KGB & dinner on the 16th. Staying at my usual Union Square hovel hostel. Yeah, I know. You're all getting sick of me. Just think how tedious it will be when I finally give up and move there!

Actually, there is more writing news that I forgot to mention!

First (and rather excitingly), my Realms of Fantasy story "The Hotel Astarte" has somehow managed to gather 9 Nebula recommendations unto itself. Not enough to get it on this year's ballot, but since its eligibility doesn't run out until June, there is a snowball's chance that it might actually get on next year's Nebula long list. How chuffed am I? A million chuffed, that's how! A big "thank you" to everyone who liked this story enough to rec it.

Secondly (and also rather excitingly), I have dipped my toe into the AnthologyBuilder project, putting up 2 stories ("Hell Notes" and "PowerSuit™") as well as 2 cover art illustrations. It was intended as a test, to see what kind of results I got. Well, I posted the content on Friday, and I've already made 2 sales! (one story, one illustration). So I'd say that's a good result. I would like to post more stories, but I feel like I should dig out my contracts and make sure I'm not violating any terms.

Finally, (and supremely excitingly!) I will be at RadCon the weekend of Feb. 16-17. I haven't been to RadCon in a few years, and I'm really looking forward to it. Programming's not complete, but apparently, I am going to be on the Liar's Panel playing Lancelot du Lac. Why? Because, as I mentioned in earlier post, I'm a devastatingly handsome man! (Note to self: Still owe beefcake photos to planetalyx ...)

I haven't done a writing update in a while because ... well, there hasn't been much to update. But now all of a sudden there is. Because I just done made my first sale of the year, to Talebones. My story "The Serpent That Sleeps Beneath The Shards" is scheduled to appear in Issue #37, which should come out sometime in late summer or early fall.

This acceptance leaves me in a strange place that I haven't been in for several years: I have only one piece out on submission. That's right, one lone little submission. Heck, if Realms of Fantasy gets back to me before the end of the week, I may be in the odd position of having nothing at all on the market for the first time since 19(mumblemumble).

I don't even have my *novel* out there at the moment. When I got my agent in December, she asked that I try to trim another 5k words from it before sending it back to her. I told her I could have this done by the end of January. Now the 5k words are gone (and then some); the novel has been read and carefully copyedited by the wonderful deedop, and it's ready to head out into the cold cruel world.

And then, like Maude, there's Diet Soap. douglain just sent me the content for the Gender Issue (our next print edition) and it's chock-full of fantastic material. I'm hoping to have it laid out within the next couple of weeks so we can get it off to press. And for those of you wondering, yes, the Diet Soap Internet Issue *is* still on its way ... but day jobs and life have been interfering, alas. Soon, my pretties. Soon.

That's all the writing news that print to fit. Updates every hour on the hour.

I'm thrilled to announce that I have accepted an offer of representation from Ginger Clark of Curtis Brown Ltd.

I have been stalking Ginger since her days at Writers House. Her client list includes tapratt (buy his books), Eliot Fintushel, Patricia Wrede, Richard Kadrey ... a whole plethora of amazing writers, as a matter of fact.

I'm honored to be in such company. Most of all, I'm excited to be working with someone who I respect, and who I know believes in my work.

And now, I do my happy dance.

*happy dance!*

(Whenever I type the full title of the magazine I want to change it to "Transmissions from Beyonce." Probably because it sounds infinitely more scary that way.)

Anyway, it has been brought to my attention by the wonderful stevenagy that not only has Black Static One: Transmissions from Beyond gone out into the wider world, it has already been reviewed by Tangent Online. The reviewer seemed to like my story, "Votary" ... or, at least he said it made him feel uncomfortable. "It made me uncomfortable" = "I loved it!" when applying the horror reader translation algorithm, right?

In other news, there is no news. I've written barely anything in weeks. But I did have an awesome call with an agent today, and I'm hoping that motivates me to find time to make some progress on the 2 novel proposals I've got simmering on my hard drive. It'll be interesting to find out (as I said to this agent who will remain nameless) if I really have "novelist" in my makeup, or if I'm really just best at short stories. I mean, I know people who completely suck at short stories while they are fine at novel length ... what's to say that I'm not just the opposite?

Ah well, we shall see. Until then, friends ... get out there and get your hands on a copy of Black Static One: Transmissions from Beyonce! It's guaranteed to make you shake your booty ... IN HORROR!

The idea of bringing an awesome writing/creative/event space to Portland has taken a huge leap forward! My friend Jeff Selin reports in pdxwritershouse that he's made arrangements for the use of a huge, beautiful space in St. John's. I'd love to post pictures, but blogger doesn't allow links, so you'll just have to go over to http://writersroompdx.blogspot.com to have a look. It's really a classy space, bamboo floors, beautiful gardens, etc.

Anyway, I'm going over there with him tomorrow to have a look. I think this space will be perfect for readings, writer's group meetings, launch parties ... you name it!

Get excited, Portlanders!

I haven't done a writing update in a little while, and now that I think about it there's actually quite a bit to report. So here goes.

• Rejection from Granta on 2 stories I sent in May. Heh. Hope springs eternal, eh what? I send stories to the New Yorker, too. And I believe in the Tooth Fairy. On the plus side, though, Tin House has not yet rejected the "Fantastic Women" story I sent them. Did I mention I believe in the Tooth Fairy?

• Progress on two new stories. Story A (as yet untitled) is almost complete, and is going to Clarkesworld as soon as I'm finished with it. It has a style and a tone that I think nihilistic_kid might dig, except for the fact that it has a lot of scene breaks ... GONG! I've been using Scrivener to write it, a program catsparx turned me on to. It really is a powerful tool for organizing concepts, even in the short story format.

• Payment from Realms of Fantasy for my upcoming short story "The People's Republic of the Edelweiss Putt-Putt Golf Course." I believe that story will be appearing in the December issue, which means it should be out and about in time for World Fantasy (fingers crossed). It is a weird little tale, my attempt at being Thurberesque. It has just a bit of the Walter Mitty about it.

• Upcoming publication in the new Black Static magazine! Formerly The Third Alternative, Black Static has been simmering for quite some time now. But judging from the spreads Andy Cox has posted, it was time well spent. Issue #1 should be mailing out sometime in the first week of September, so if you haven't yet done your American Duty to Support Speculative Fiction by subscribing to a fine outlet for short fiction, go subscribe now. I guarantee my story "Votary" will make you LITERALLY VOMIT IN TERROR!

• Forward motion on Diet Soap. douglain and I met about a week ago and walked away with two long to-do lists ... and I've even made a tiny bit of progress on mine. We should have a first draft layout of Issue #1 by the first week of September. We have acquired some AMAZING kick-ass fiction (thanks to Doug, who is bearing the brunt of the editorial load admirably) and I can't wait to get it out there for people to read. I'll post about updates as they happen.

• Discussions about an exciting new addition to the Portland writing community. I met with my friend Jeff this week to discuss a really cool project he's putting together. He basically wants to set up a writers house in Portland, modeled on other successful writing houses in cities like Chicago, New York, and Boston. He's looking for input, opinions, friends and community support, and is blogging his progress at http://writersroompdx.blogspot.com/. For the benefit of Portland LJers, I've set up a syndicated feed (pdxwritershouse so you can play along at home!

And that's about it, except for all the stuff simmering on back burners: a couple of novel outlines, an anthology story I'm scheduled write next month, another anthology story I'd *like* to write, a couple of stories on hold here and there, a couple of agents I'm waiting to hear from ... you know, the usual.

Until next time ...

Here's a writer's resource of extreme usefulness:

Online Neighborhood Mailbox Locator!

Don't say I never did nothin' for ya.

• FAMILY. My grandmother died yesterday afternoon. She was admitted into hospice care on Friday, and daughter and I made the trip up to Seattle on Saturday. It wasn't really unexpected--she'd been in an Alzheimer's care unit for about seven years now--but it was good to see her one more time and bid her safe travels. Best of all, I got to spend some quality time with my mom and sister and aunt and daughter--death being woman's work, as my mom pointed out. It was a bittersweet trip, but I am really glad we made it.

• WORK. I had a pleasant surprise today. I opened the story that I wrote for Tin House, the one that I basically ripped out of my metaphorical typewriter and shoved into the mail. I'd been afraid to look at that story until now, almost a month later. To my huge surprise, it does not suck. I've also been productive on the other stories I'm working on--of course, my personal definition of "productive" has changed from "lots and lots of words" to "a small number of good words that don't suck that I don't have to cut out later." Not much else going on ... another very encouraging Clarkesworld reject, and lots and lots of DayJob^tm work. And, of course, JayCon this weekend!

• COMMUNITY. The challenges of working out of my home office have been compounded by the onset of summer vacation. We now have, on average, five to fifteen kids running around like wild First Americans all day, bored out of their tiny little minds. So we've instituted the Monroe Street Summer Camp. My neighbor and I round the little savages up every MWF around 4 p.m. and take them for a long walk around the neighborhood. Additionally, husband takes everyone up to the pool on Tuesdays & Fridays. It's not much, but it gives them something to look forward to. Also, we're planning a neighborhood barbecue for the Fourth of July.

• GARDEN. The sunflowers are flourishing, the tomato plants are huge. I just this week put in the last round of seeds--zucchini and pumpkins and some peppermint and some other assorted flowers. It's getting a bit late for seeds, and the days are so hot that I'm going to have to be aggressive in watering the beds to make sure they don't dry out. We shall see.

... I have two stories on hold at wonderful publications, and I've made significant progress on the 5+ stories I'm actively working on at the moment and this is daughter's last week as a 3rd grader (wait ... is that good news?) and my little sister is defending her Master's thesis in Corvallis this week.

And my tomatoes are growing like gangbusters, my basils (I've planted three different kinds: purple basil, holy basil, and sweet basil) are getting big enough to pinch, and my sage is perking along sagaciously. Oh, and the eglantine is blooming outside my window and my peony had seven big blooms on it this year!

So, life rolls along, flowers bloom and wilt, and foot-stomping hissy fits are soon forgotten.

OK, so I finished the Tin House submission. I'm taking it up to the Post Office when I pick up daughter from school. I have to say, it doesn't feel quite *finished*. I've never been one who feels comfortable ripping the final page from the typewriter platen and shoving it into the hands of a desperately waiting copyboy. I am pretty geological my approach to writing. I like to polish and repolish, weather my prose with the water and wind and sand of my genius, impart a rich green patina to my words through the slow oxidization of my wit.

(Heh heh heh.)

Anyway, we shall see. Tin House would be a cool market to break, but if they don't take it, there are plenty of other markets to send it to. The neat thing is that it's only 3,500 words, which is quite short for me, and quite a nice saleable length.

Now, for my next trick, I shall trim the story I'm sending to Paradox, so that I can send it off first thing tomorrow.

In honor of International Pixel-Stained Techopeasant Day I am digitally reprinting my short story "Domovoi" from the April 2005 edition of The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction.

And it doesn't end there! Wheatland Press has put up my story "The Woman in the Numbers" from Polyphony 5. Even if you don't feel like reading my story, bop over to Wheatland because Deb's put up a whole bunch of other freely downloadable fiction as well!

March on, comrades.

(P.S. Thanks to lisamantchev for the cool icon!)

_{(X-posted to mkhobson, ipstp, and sfwa)}

So now I'm really starting to think about going to WisCon. I have enough FF miles (on 2 different cards) to pay for a round trip flight. The con registration isn't that expensive, and it doesn't (yet) seem to be sold out.

Maybe if I could find someone who wanted to share a room with me ... heidi_lampietti can vouch that I'm house trained.

Watch this space for details as they develop.

Peace out.

Apology

OK, so I have to admit my own ugliness. My intent was to make you all jealous with that last post, and from the comments I received, it seems I succeeded. By the light of a new day, I feel awful about it. Me having a pound of fresh juicy delicious morels (that I sauteed in butter and garlic) and bragging about it was just mean. I am terribly, terribly sorry.

***

Writing News

I haven't posted any writing news lately, but there have been a few things popping here and there, as follows:

• I sold another story to Realms of Fantasy. It's called "The People's Republic of the Edelweiss Village Putt-Putt Golf Course." You might not guess it from the title, but it's a bit silly. And it does have putt putt golf. This makes three in a row I've sold to RoF, and I'm absolutely tickled pink about it.

• Speaking of Realms of Fantasy, the June issue contains my story "The Hotel Astarte." This story has been getting some terrific buzz, thanks in no small part to the generous comments of the Slushmaster, Douglas Cohen. There's also a discussion thread for the story here.

• I fully intend to take part in the International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Wretch day on April 23, and will be reprinting something here. What, you might ask? Well, if anyone has a preference, please let me know. My bibliography is here. Much of my stuff is already online, but there are a few things that haven't ever seen the light of the CRT. For a preference, I'd like to put up "Domovoi", which appeared in F&SF in 2005, but I'll have to pull out my contract and see if that's kosher.

• Finally, speaking of F&SF, I received word that my story "PowerSuit" will see print in the July issue. This is my second story to appear in F&SF, and it's another humorous corporate intrigue, along the lines of my SCI FICTION story Hell Notes.

Well, that's it for now. Thank you all for coming. Please stack your chairs in the corner before you go.

I am just so tickled by Miranda July's promotional Web site (brought to my attention by maryrobinette) I might even go to her reading when she comes to Portland in May.

And that, my friends, is good marketing.

Partyin' Hearty. A great time was had by all at the Barley Mill Pub last night. Portlanders from all four corners of our fair city gathered to celebrate davidlevine's Hugo win. Linkables in attendance included coreolis, deedop, kateyule (of course), and most likely dozens more who's LJ handles I'm not savvy to. Beer was swilled, conversation was shouted, and boy did we sweat in that hot little upstairs room. But it was much fun, and I got to catch up with some old friends I hadn't seen in a while.

Some You Win, Some You Lose. I finally gave up and queried GVG on the story that's been sitting at F&SF for over 100 days now ... turns out (as you might guess) that he'd actually passed on it back in May. It was a genteel and useful rejection, as always--thank you Gordon. But fortune did not look entirely unsmiling upon me this week; I also got word from Shawna McCarthy that she'd like to take another of my stories for Realms of Fantasy. That makes two I've sold there this year, and brings my number of stories sold this year up to five. I have to sell two more stories this year to meet my numbers from last year. Unfortunately, I only have 2 more unsold stories in inventory. Which means that I have to ... uh ... write.

But Lo! Writing There Has Been! The pirate novella is up to almost 8,000 words (erp) and I'm not even halfway finished with it. I am having a great deal of fun with it, and have enlisted the wise and able aid of sartorias to help me avoid looking like a fool in my sea-battle scenes. I also have quite a few almost-finished stories just lazing around in my folder, looking seedy and flaccid. They must be whipped into shape. They shall be whipped into shape. I vow it.

Ego Boo: Or, "One of These Things is Not Like The Others". So I was paging through the Oct/Nov. issue of Fantasy and Science Fiction (which has some fantastic stories in it, by the way -- I loved "Revelation" by Albert Cowdrey) and I happened to notice my name among a list of "upcoming authors" on the subscription card in the middle of the book. This alone wasn't what startled me. What startled me was the other names. Ted Chiang, Carol Emshwiller, Charles Coleman Finlay, M. Rickert, Bruce Sterling, and Gene Wolfe. Giants of Fantasy and Science Fiction. And ... me. I can only assume my name just happened to have the right number of letters or something.

EOMFN

PIMPIN'
• As many others have noted, mme_publisher has posted the cover for Polyphony 6. Click here to preorder this fantastic volume. My story has armpit licking in it. And not just any ol' armpit licking, but armpit licking that is critical to the plot. I defy you to buy any other anthology this year that contains a story where there is armpit licking that is critical to the plot.

• Speaking of preorders, Vol. 1 of Liquid Laughter (which will be debuting at World Fantasy this year) can be purchased for a veritable song from Redjack Books. The story in this antho has no armpit licking in it. It does have a talking hat, though.

• Don't want to wait for a preorder? FUHU #8 is available now! Clicky, click!

READIN'
I will be participating in the Broad Universe rapid-fire reading at Worldcon on Wednesday, Aug. 23 at 8 p.m. Room to be determined. As you might expect, there are a lot of readers signed up for this one, enough that each of us will have only about 5 minutes to read. It'll be a smorgasbord of delightful nuggets from start to finish!

SELLIN'
• I sold "Hippocampus" to Escape Pod. I love resales. Getting paid twice for the same thing is bliss. I'm also prepping a story to go to their new sister publication, Pseudopod, a horror podcast. Good stuff, Maynard!

• I have another non-fiction article coming out in Broad Universe's newsletter, the Broadsheet. The lovely and talented jess_ka and I discuss Clarion from the point of view of one who attended (her) and one who didn't (me.)

That's enough for now.

Found a letter in the postbox today indicating that F&SF will be taking my story "PowerSuit™." This is my second fiction sale of the year, and my second sale to F&SF (the first being "Domovoi" which appeared in April, 2005.)

Generally, I find second sales even more exciting than first sales, because they make me feel slightly more confident that the first sale wasn't just the result of a momentary brain-fever on the part of the editor.

I go dance deliriously now.

(Your museage, or indeed mucilage, may vary ...)

Anyway, I'm thinking about some of the cons looming on the horizon. I'm already booked to go to the WorldCon in LA in August (and I am looking for pals to share my luxurious rooms at the Hilton, by the way) but I'm wondering if I should add World Fantasy into the mix. I would love to kick around Austin. Also, RedJack is going to launch the Medicine Show anthology at World Fantasy, and it would be fun to be there for that.

However, OryCon's about two weekends after that, and that's a whole heck of a lot of con-going for shy lil' ol' misanthropic me.

Ponder, ponder.